Growing up my mother would always tell me “those who don’t hear must feel”. I have always had an issue of being a people pleaser growing up. My mom would tell me not to let people take advantage of me and I should put my foot down (in respective way of course). All though it’s great to spread kindness in the world I did not know my boundaries. I over exhausted myself being the person people can come to for all their problems. I loved to help but by the time I reached high school I was 100% the designated “yes man”.
How do you prevent this from happening to you? First, you have to figure out your morals. It feels good that everyone can trust you enough to come to them in a time of need but with that comes a lack of concern for yourself. Learn what tour boundaries are and cut off certain demands before people take advantage of you. It’s not fair to put all the blame on other people when you are not protecting yourself.
Secondly, learn when you say NO! You are in control of your own life and no one will love you as much as you love yourself. If you are too busy to deal with someone else’s needs or emotional burdens it’s completely okay to walk away. The people who truly love you will not make that ruin your relationship (especially if you are always doing for others). Take a step back to just… breathe. Your value is not only determined by what you do for others but what you do for yourself. If your intentions are pure that will ALWAYS show on the surface.
By: Imani Ferr