According to TIME, Dr. Lillian Glass, a California-based communication and psychology expert, defines a toxic relationship as “any relationship [between people who] don’t support each other, where there’s conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where there’s competition, where there’s disrespect and a lack of cohesiveness.” In our society you hear a lot about toxicity. People want to remove toxic people from their lives, they want to stop toxic habits and create an environment where anything toxic cannot infiltrate our lives. All though this is always the goal, what do you do when you are in a toxic relationship? Do you even realize that you are in a toxic relationship? And if your are, what do you do?
Being in a toxic relationship can be with anyone in your life. Friends and family has just as much capability to drain you just as much as a longterm lover. While it is normal for relationships to have its ups and downs, being in a toxic relationship takes it to a whole other level. A toxic relationship is constantly unpleasant and can have an effect on you mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and in some situations, physically. Here are a few signs to see if you are in a toxic relationship with someone in your life:
- The person does not understand or respect your boundaries.
- The person constantly disrespects you and your loved ones.
- The person keeps you away from friends, family and things that make you happy as a form of control.
- The person lacks basic communication skills which leads to the lack of understanding or emotional intelligence.
- The person invades your privacy when it comes to the interaction you have outside the relationship.
- The person lies and manipulates you.
The list could go on but these are just basic things to look out for. Can a toxic relationship be fixed? Possibly. But you have to understand if you have the capacity to keep going with a person who does noting but take from you. Have a conversation with you to understand, what is your limit? Creating boundaries for yourself can help you understand what you can and cannot take moving forward.
The benefit of leaving a toxic relationship is the joy of redefining yourself. Most people tend to loose themselves in the mess of a relationship but slowly gain themselves back after they drop that weight. You become stronger, more intelligent and happier, which is the most important thing. It takes a lot to leave so it is important to create a support system of friends of family as you heal. You are bigger and better than the chains that hold you.